Experience

Experience helps you learn about the everyday realities of working life and most importantly equips you with the soft skills needed to succeed at any organization. In addition to having knowledge and experience in a trade or profession, expert implies extraordinary proficiency and connotes knowledge and technical skill. Popular belief is that the key to becoming an expert is to devote at least 10,000 hours to the study and practice of a subject. Expertise is defined as exceptional, elite, or peak performance on specific tasks in specific domains. Expertise is perceived as being the result of hard work and practice. Life experiences are the events and situations that shape our individual journeys and contribute to personal growth and development. The happiness provided by new material possessions is short-lived. Over time, people's satisfaction with the things they buy decreases, whereas their satisfaction with experiences over time increases. Experience is making mistakes and learning from them. The trouble with experience is that by the time you have it you are too old to take advantage of it. Experience is what you get when you did not get what you wanted. Good judgement comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgement. Fill your life with experiences. Not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show.         

Of all the things needed to do something right, experience counts the most. What counts most is the energy or enthusiasm to do it. Finding both of these together is rare, which explains why our world is less than perfect. The famous saying "If one could learn from watching alone, then even the dog would become a butcher" elegantly outlines why and how experience counts. Experience is better and there is a very thin line between experience and monotony. Several companies has seen a paradigm shift from the experienced candidates getting preference to freshers being hired in large numbers and now it is shifting back again to the experienced. How far this is correct remains a question of debate. For all that youth lacks, experience can compensate. For all that old age is incapable of achieving, youth could become the instrument. There has been growing acceptance of the need to make retirement a gradual process. This could be done by reducing working hours gradually till retirement or breaking the monotony as retirement approaches by setting more enjoyable roles for them. By recognizing the worth of the experienced and the potential of the youth and making them work together, youth would know much more and aged could do much more.   

 

Adultery

Adultery is a crime in many jurisdictions, although it is rarely prosecuted. The Pope Francis has declared on 9^th Dec'2021 that the sin of adultery is not the most serious of sins. Adultery is not be a criminal offence. It is only a ground for divorce. What two consenting adults do in their bedrooms is not something they should be sent to jail for. It is not the business of the state. Many couples overcome cheating. Affairs usually end in divorce and remarriage, or divorce and relationship loss, or the recommitment to the relationship that was betrayed. Living with another person during the existence of current relationship is a ground for seeking divorce. Dating is not adultery. If you have to question, ‘Is this cheating?’ it is probably cheating. Under most laws, the married participant is an adulterer and the single one merely a fornicator.

Accomplishments

Accomplishments do not matter. We are all going to pass by. In almost every probable scenario, over the long-term, the universe is going to continue on without any tangible sign that it has been disturbed by our existence. Ultimately, nothing we do matters. Alexander, Shakespeare, Newton, and Napoleon will be nothing more than lost whispers. Death will occur when it occurs. It is a problem as long as we make it a problem. The purpose of life is not to accomplish. It is to experience. Right now.

Adult life

Adult life involves taking full responsibility of life. As young adults grow older, relationships grow more serious. Relationships will only work till the end if you are fit, rich and everything. The girlfriend  or a boyfriend, you are hanging with, may leave you one day if you are out of shape. Adult life is all about priorities. Being an adult is not only about having choice, it is also about understanding the consequences your choices have and seeking help when you can not make good choices. We do not have to live our adult lives according to our parents' wishes. You are fully responsible and can do whatever you want to do, within your means. The behavior of friends, colleagues and competitors would neither be entirely right nor entirely wrong. Never judge a person too early. Getting smart about money is crucial. Learning to budget, save, and invest is key to hitting the financial goals. Life throws curveballs. No matter how well you plan, something unexpected can always come up. Adulting sucks. Everyone is struggling with something. Earning money is good and liberating. You can afford to do things and buy things that you never could before, your access and relationship to money changes totally as an adult. The problem comes if you are undisciplined with it. Being an adult with healthy life skills takes several years, a couple of kids, life changing relationships, a great career, lots of mistakes, and wonderful friends. Being a happy adult is rewarding and spiritually educational.    

Legality is not guidance to morality

There are a number of issues about the relationship between morality and law in any pluralistic, secular democracy. Among them are whether legislation should reflect moral principles, whether judges should interpret laws in light of moral values and principles, whether laws should enforce morality, whether laws are binding if they do not reflect moral principles, whether it is moral or not to disobey bad laws, and what gives law its authority. 

• Normally laws are desired to be crafted carefully and with regard for our moral notion of justice and fairness and with utilitarian regard to their fostering good, rather than harmful consequences. 
• Not all morality is enshrined in the law. Many unfair and wrong business practices are not anticipated and were not made illegal until someone invents and uses them in a way mistreating others. These practices are wrong and immoral from inception, but not illegal until law catches up to them. 
• In a sense morality is complete and applies to all acts, but the law typically is incomplete and only applies to behaviors legislation has already addressed. 
• Law has to be invented or manufactured but morality only has to be recognized. Laws do have loopholes but morality does not have loopholes. It is impossible to make a complete set of laws that anticipate, enumerate, fully describe, and forbid every possible specific wrong behavior. 
• Upholding morality is not the main purpose of most laws. Most laws are there to maintain order and safety or to promote efficiency. Laws are never meant for moral guidance.
• Traffic laws are not based on morality. They are moral because they are a way of promoting social benefits of a certain kind in an optimal way. 
• There are some government programs set up by law that simply harmed the people they were intended to help, such as aspects of the welfare rules that ended up trapping people in poverty rather than assisting them to escape it. 
• Not all morality should be enshrined in law, because enforcing some morality would be far worse than not enforcing it. 
• Society has a legitimate right to enforce morality in preventing great harm, it need not and should not make everyone do the right thing all the time. 
• What makes people voluntarily obey laws --  they believe the law is in conformity with what is morally right (or if it is a procedural law, it does not conflict with what is right) and is just and beneficial.
• It is always possible that people will obey the bad laws of any government out of fear or risk of punishment or reprisal. But that does not give law rightful authority. They have the power, but not the authority. 
• Many morally good people will disobey laws they think are very wrong, either in a form of civil disobedience, or in order to get away with it because they believe the law does not have moral authority then. And if the government passes sufficiently many bad laws it will lose obedience by rebellion or revolution, because citizens will believe that the laws and the government are too immoral to have any authority that deserves their obedience.

The law is something like a formal system of rules and procedures that is meant to invoke and instantiate our moral sense of justice. People have an expectation for law to try to do that in the best way it can, so that even with institutional and administrative limitations, the law gives the most morally optimal results that can be achieved. The law should always be trying to live up to that expectation, not acting as, nor trying to be, a substitute for it. 

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Protests & street agitations

Certain events of civil unrest in India — violent crowds, protests and riots — put a serious strain on the secular foundation of the society. Be it the Swadeshi Movement of 1905 or Satyagrah in 1930, movements have shaped the history of the nation. 

• A court has said people are out on the streets as what should have been said inside Parliament was “not said”. Additional sessions judge made the observation during a bail hearing case. While these observations are not legally binding but do carry certain heft, especially at a time the Modi government has been creating an impression that the Anti CAA protests are against the national interest.
• The judge asked: “What is the problem with going to Jama Masjid? What is wrong with dharna? It is one’s constitutional right to protest. Where is the violence? What is wrong with any of these posts? Have you read the Constitution? “You are behaving as if Jama Masjid was Pakistan and even if it was Pakistan, you can go there and protest. Pakistan was a part of undivided India,” the judge said.
• Expecting decisions without agitations is like expecting crops without ploughing the ground; rain without thunder and lightning. The struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, or it may be both. But it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will.

Some famous quotations:

• Intelligent discontent is the mainspring of civilization. Progress is born of agitation. It is agitation or stagnation ... Eugene V. Debs
• Progress is dependent upon a productive and dynamic tension between institutionalism and insurrectionism. Insurrectionists keep our institutions honest ... Christopher Hayes
• Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world would do this, it would change the earth ... William Faulkner
• We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented ... Elie Wiesel 
• Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient are slaves ... Henry David Thoreau
• Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence ... Leonardo da Vinci
• One has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws .. Martin Luther King Jr.
• Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable ... John F. Kennedy
• A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government ... Edward Abbey
• Protest beyond the law is not a departure from democracy; it is absolutely essential to it ... Howard Zinn

Bargaining in flea markets

Bargaining is an art that can help you bring down the price of a product in direct proportion to your skills. Connecting well with people and having a psychological advantage over salespeople also result in a good negotiation and can fetch you a better price than you had bargained for.

• It's foolish not to bargain at a flea market. 
• Bargaining is the accepted and expected method of finding a compromise between the merchant and the customer.
• Prices can vary drastically among vendors at the same flea market. If prices aren't marked, assume there's a double price standard: one for locals and one for you. 
• Watch to see what others would be charged. 
• Usually traders raise the price to sometimes double the original cost. Ideally, one should bargain up to 20-30% of the quoted price.
• Marked prices can distort your idea of an item's true worth. Many people think that if they can cut the price by 50% they are doing great. So the merchant quadruples his prices and the customer happily pays double the fair value. The best way to deal with crazy price tags is to ignore them. 
• Before you even find out the price, determine the item's value to you, considering the hassles involved in packing it or shipping it home.
• Merchants hate to lose a sale. Work the cost down, but if it doesn't match with the price you have in mind, walk away. That last amount the merchant hollers out is often the best price you'll get. If that price is right, go back and buy. Prices often drop at the end of the day, when merchants are about to pack up.
• Keep a poker face and don't settle for the first counter-offer.
• Cash speaks volumes at a flea market. Offer to pay cash instead of credit cards. They're often more willing to strike a deal if you pay cash, since they save on credit-card fees. Often, vendors don’t even accept another form of payment.
• Look for defects. Inspect your item and point out the flaws prior to asking for a discount. If defects doesn't bother you much, you can bargain for additional discount too.
• Don't hurry. Bargaining is rarely rushed. Make sure you are dealing with someone who has the authority to bend a price downward. Bid respectfully. If a merchant accepts your price, you must buy the item.
• Don't show up in your designer duds and jewels and expect to get a discount. 
• Remember to ask respectfully. Don't be too petty by haggling over small amounts. If your item is priced at Rs.1000 then don’t be stingy and offer Rs.50. The vendor needs to make money too. But make your offer a little lower than you are willing to pay so there is room for negotiation. A few rupees is worth more to the shopkeeper than to you.
• Bargaining applies to goods, not to food sold at stands or outdoor produce markets. 
• As in all areas of life, kindness matters at the flea market too.
• Caution: If you buy an item (which you really don't need) at 40% discount, you haven't saved 40% but lost 60%. Buy only what you really need.

After retirement, I realized that while shops in malls, prices and discounts are fixed where we end up paying huge amounts not only for the higher quality goods but also for the ambiance, packaging and services. Similar goods, usually little lower in quality, are significantly cheaper and at times taxes not loaded in smaller shops. Hence I decided to buy most items from small street shops (rather than in malls) and never to indulge in tough bargain in flea markets but to just leave if I suspect prices are exorbitant.