Avoid being judgmental

• We are all judgmental. It’s human nature. 
• While it is in our nature to be judgmental, it’s not always useful to us. We look down on others, as if we are so much better and that creates division between people. 
• You are not the only one with betchy opinions. We see someone, and based on their looks or actions, we pass judgment on them. Not good judgment, either. Usually without even knowing the person. In most cases, we don’t really have any idea what’s behind other people’s actions. We don’t make an effort to get to know the person, or understand them, or see whether our judgment was right or not. 
• We judge, without understanding. We don’t try to find out more, and through communication begin to understand, and through understanding begin to build a bridge between two human beings.
• It might be hard to avoid gossip completely, but make an effort to change the conversation when your friends start sounding judgmental. Try bringing up another perspective, or sneak some of that person’s good qualities into the discussion. If you can’t help but get caught up in the negativity of your usual social group, find a more positive friend who you can spend time with too.
• Everyone makes mistakes, so make a point of framing it as a bad action, not a sign of bad character. 
• As you feel a negative thought enter your brain, accept it as a thought only and then redirect your mind to think about something else. Detaching yourself from your thoughts will keep you from getting caught up in criticizing others.
• An onslaught of scary events (political upheaval, apocalyptic weather) has made us all feel unstable, amplifying our instinctual urge to call out those who threaten the norm. Because things seem less predictable we're assessing more, looking to shut down threats everywhere. 
• It is easy to dismiss these savage instincts as harmless. But constantly judging others can create an addictive cycle. We judge, then judge ourselves for judging, then feel bad, then judge others again, ultimately losing way too much mental energy to process that makes us feel foolish. 
• The solution is noticing the critical thoughts and then replacing them with kindness. 
• When you begin your day with self-judgment, you end up projecting those insecurities onto others. Instead try to notice your judgment without judgment. When you realize that you are critiquing yourself, congratulate yourself for noticing. Positive reinforcement neutralizes negative feelings, squashing the urge to transfer them onto someone else.
• After recognizing what triggers your judginess and using positive mantras, try cultivating compassion. Looking for people's good qualities helps you feel more love for them. So close your eyes for a second, breathe deep, and reflect on how hardworking this guy is.
• Evening is great time to take inventory of your and forgive yourself for all the times you have judged. This is the last step in your detox. No matter how many negative thoughts slipped through, tell yourself that you did the best you could. And be proud of all the critical thoughts you did catch. 
• In order to let other people off the hook, you first have to let yourself off the hook.

Be curious, not judgmental ... Walt Whitman