Yes, I am changing

Things that destroys your career

Some good, hard-working people makes honest mistakes that often carry hard-hitting consequences killing their careers. Most people kill their careers in subtle, decidedly undramatic ways. While some people had made a blunder that had catastrophic results for their career, reputation, or business, and some had done other things that had damaged their careers. The consequences could be denial of a promotion, a raise, or even a job. Sometimes it damaged a working relationship and destroyed their reputation. Little things can add up over time and undermine your career just as much as one huge lapse in judgment. But if you stay aware of them, these are all things that you can control before they creep up on you and kill your career.

1. Playing politics. Instigating conflict, choosing sides, undermining colleagues, spreading rumors, and all of the other things fall under the umbrella of “playing politics.” If you find yourself sneaking around or if you’re embarrassed if some of your behind-the-scenes manipulations come to light, that’s politics. Stick to strategies you’d be proud to discuss in front of your colleagues.
2. Over-promising and under-delivering. The moment you promise something to someone, they expect nothing less. You end up looking terrible when you fall short, which is a shame. You could have done the same quality work in the same amount of time with great results if you’d set up realistic expectations. Perception matters more than reality. Just be realistic about the results you can deliver so that you’re certain to create expectations that you will blow out of the water.
3. Complacency. If you become complacent, and complacency is a real career killer. It’s what happens when you’re just along for the ride and assume that nothing will ever change. But we’ve seen enough disruption - technological and otherwise - to realize that change is inevitable. If you’re always too busy to learn something new or to expand your network, you’ve got your priorities mixed up. If you make continuous growth and development a priority, you’ll be ready for whatever comes your way.
4. Fear of change. Fear of change is another form of complacency. It actively works to keep things the same. Things are changing too fast these days to latch on so tightly to the status quo, and the costs of doing so can be huge. Successful employees are the ones who can adapt to the changing workplace. Change is a constant part of our lives, both personally and professionally. You don’t have to love it, but you do have to learn to stop resisting it and to start adapting to it.
5. Having an inflatable ego. Success is great. It definitely boosts your career, and it feels really, really good. If you start thinking that success is going to last forever and that you’re entitled to it. Never, ever be content with resting on your laurels. Once you start thinking that you’re the cat’s meow, you’re setting yourself up for very painful failure.
6. Low emotional intelligence. Everyone knows that you can get fired for being unable or unwilling to play nicely with others. If everyone can tell when you’re bored or irritated or that you think something a colleague says is stupid, this lack of emotional intelligence will catch up with you. Emotional outbursts, belittling others, shutting co-workers down when they speak, low self-awareness, and just generally being difficult are other ways that a lack of emotional intelligence will do great harm to your career.
7. Sucking up to your boss. Some people suck up to their boss and call it managing up. That doesn’t go over well with colleagues who are trying to make it on merit. You might want to bolster your relationship with your boss, but not by undermining your colleagues. For a boss-employee relationship to work, it has to be based on authenticity. There’s no substitute for merit.

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that they can only damage their careers by making one huge misstep, but the reality is that it’s usually not that dramatic. 

What ever is worth doing, is worth doing slowly & correctly.

My View:
The bottom line is that you will have your job/career as long as you give more than you take. Be nice to all and productive and you earn respect. Punctuality & discipline are ways of respecting others. Always find a way to be punctual, no matter what it takes. Try to achieve goals with merit and hard work, never by manipulations. Honesty makes your presence warmer and simplifies communication. Strive to avoid mistakes and blunders, which at times could be expensive or even catastrophic. Remember accuracy is more important than speed. The secret is filling vacant time slots intelligently rather than wasting it. Never procrastinate, it won't solve any of your problems. Be a patient listener to know others better. Never compromise long term big benefits for short term small gains. Finally, be worthy of it than having it and never have it and not deserve it.

Wars: Causes and Consequences

• War is the spectacular and bloody projection of our everyday life.
• War is merely an enlargement of our daily action. It is the collective result of our individual activities. 
• We are responsible for war and what can we do to stop it, is by transforming ourselves.
• Impending war cannot be stopped by anyone, because it is already in movement. 
• But we, seeing that the house is on fire, can understand the causes of that fire, can go away from it and build in a new place with different materials that are not combustible, that will not produce other wars. That is all that we can do.
• In order to save ourselves from wars, we have to cease to be greedy, cease piling up wealth, seeking power, domination, and be morally simple in our thoughts and feelings and in our relationships. 
• If circumstances are too powerful for you to alter, then you are responsible for the war and destruction. Circumstances can be controlled by us, because we created them.
• Society is the product of relationship. Societal changes merely relying on legislation for the transformation of outward society, while remaining inwardly corrupt, while continuing inwardly to seek power, position, domination, is to destroy the outward, however carefully and scientifically built. That which is inward is always overcoming the outward.
• What causes war – religious, political or economic? Obviously belief, either in nationalism, in an ideology, or in a particular dogma. If we had no belief but goodwill, love and consideration between us, then there would be no wars. 
• But we are fed on beliefs, ideas and dogmas that breed discontent. What causes war is the desire for power, position, prestige, money; also the disease called nationalism, the worship of a flag; and the disease of organized religion, the worship of a dogma. 
• If you as an individual belonging to organized religions, greedy for power, envious, you are bound to produce a society which will result in destruction. So it depends upon us, not on the leaders.
• How quickly we could bring an end of all these wars, is an appalling misery! But we are indifferent. We have three meals a day, we have our jobs, we have our bank account, The higher up we are, the more we want security, permanency, tranquility, the more we want to be left alone, to maintain things fixed as they are; but they cannot be maintained as they are, because there is nothing to maintain.
• We may talk about peace, have conferences, sit round a table and discuss, but inwardly, psychologically, we want power, position, we are bound by beliefs, by dogmas, for which we are willing to die and destroy each other.
• To have peace, we must be peaceful; to live peacefully means not to create antagonism. Peace is not an ideal which is merely an escape, an avoidance of a contradiction. But to have peace, we will have to love, we should not to live an ideal life, but to see things as they are and act upon them, transform them.
• We seek psychological security, which does not exist; and we seek it through power, through position, through titles, names – all of which is destroying physical security. This is fact.
• To bring about peace in the world, to stop all wars, there must be a revolution in the individual. Economic revolution without this inward revolution is meaningless. We will not win peace because we will not give up our position, our authority, our money, our properties, our stupid lives.
• To rely on others for  peace is futile. No leader is going to give us peace, no government, no army, no country. What will bring peace is inward transformation which will lead to outward action. There can be right action only when there is right thinking and there is no right thinking when there is no self-knowledge. Without knowing yourself, there is no peace.
• To put an end to outward war, you must begin to put an end to war in yourself. The world miseries and wars are not going to be stopped by your casual assent. They will be stopped only when you realize the danger, when you realize your responsibility, when you do not leave it to somebody else.
• If you realize the suffering, if you see the urgency of immediate action and do not postpone, then you will transform yourself; peace will come only when you yourself are peaceful, when you yourself are at peace with your neighbor.

In war there are no winners, but all are losers.
War is an unmitigated disaster. There is nothing good about it.
The two most powerful warriors are patience and time ... Leo Tolstoy
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength ... George Orwell
Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind ... John F. Kennedy

My View:

In a war one country might win, but soldiers from both sides will perish. While winning country celebrates, the families of deceased soldiers will suffer loss of their family member forever. The economies of both warring countries will suffer severe setbacks. An example is Iraq. Prior to 1992 Kuwait wars, Iraqis were leading high end lifestyle. Post war their life is miserable. Prior to Iraq war in 2003, USA's national debt was under $1 trillion. The war costs are estimated at $800 billion and continued costs of the war are about $6 trillion. Today USA's national debt is $9 trillion, mainly due to Iraq war impact and some other reasons as well. Finally, wars were never between people or soldiers of the warring countries, but due to ego clash of their national leaders.

Source: 1948, Second public talk; Collected Works of Jiddu Krishnamurti

Success and Failure

Success is the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
Failure is lacking success.
While succeeding is important, the road map to success is even more important.
Success as a result of illegal & immoral means is worse than failure.

Ingredients of success

1. Vision & goal definition.
2. Tenacity and perseverance.
3. Research, planning & resource mobilization.
4. Developing sound business model.
5. Due diligence and risk mitigation.
6. Timing and luck.
7. Execution.

Managing success

1. Managing success is harder than handling failure.
2. Neither success nor failure are permanent. 
3. Hard work is the only path to true success.
4. Elation of success or depression of failure are unnecessary.  
5. Identify and acknowledge contributors for success and reward them.
6. Never let ego destroy business. 
7. Take time to celebrate success and pay attention to the lessons it offers.
8. Eliminate wastage and optimize costs.
9. Innovation to stay succeed.

Lessons from failure

1. Failure is never the end of road. It is just a turn.
2. Reshape values and redefine priorities
3. Become more compassionate.
4. Improve perspective on finance.
5. Revisit approach and realize true friends.
6. Realize that success isn’t everything.
7. Re-envision goals.
8. Become more passionate about mission.
9. Develop a deeper sense of community.
10. Learn to never give up.

Resolve to be honest at all events; and if in your own judgment you cannot 

be an honest lawyer, resolve to be honest without being a lawyer. 

Choose some other occupation ... Abraham Lincoln

The progress towards the goal will be in exact 
proportion to the purity of the means. As the means so the end. 

It is not the end that we can work with but only means ... Gandhi 

My View:
Both success and failures are a myth. They are simply results of choices, actions and luck. Results are never in our hands nor predictable. Otherwise, we will not see so many great people fail in the history. What is in our hands is preparation, mitigation of risks and execution. Rest is luck. Ironically, money reflects success. Money is important for comfortable living. But there are many things which money can't buy. Peace & happiness has nothing to do with money. They are mindset. Many poor people live happy and meaningful lives. In this world, no good man has ever made a fortune. The more morals and ethics are compromised they more one can make money. In most cases enrichment is consequence of destruction of ecological assets. People succeed with inside advance information of government policy changes which is a punishable crime in any democracy and reflects its association with crime, corruption and bribery. With all ills of the society there are ample opportunities for good and honest people to do business and earn decent income.

Narcissist & Self Aggrandizement

Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes. Narcissism is a long-term pattern of abnormal behavior characterized by exaggerated feelings of self-importance, an excessive need for admiration, and a lack of understanding of others' feelings. Narcissists ruthlessly pursue the aggrandizement of the individual self, even at the price of diminishing others and at the risk of sacrificing the interpersonal bond.

Hotchkiss's seven deadly sins of narcissism are:

1. Shamelessness – In a healthy person, shame is processed in a normal manner, whereas narcissists have difficulty processing this feeling in a healthy way. Narcissists also tend to inflict shame on other people.
2. Magical thinking – Narcissists tend to perceive themselves as perfect and flawless. The distorted thinking and illusion that causes narcissists to feel this way is referred to as magical thinking.
3. Arrogance – Arrogance and a disregard for other people’s feelings are typical characteristics of narcissism. Narcissists often have a low self esteem which they try to relieve by insulting or degrading others. 
4. Envy – Due to their sense of being superior to others, narcissists may feel insecure when faced with another person’s ability, which they may try to belittle by demonstrating contempt or dismissal of it.
5. Sense of entitlement – A sense of being perfect and superior means narcissists often expect to receive favorable treatment and for people to admire and agree with their opinions or actions. A person who flouts their authority, the narcissist will proceed to demean them in front of others. 
6. Exploitation – This refers to the narcissist’s tendency to exploit others and show no regard or empathy for their emotions or interests. This often occurs when the other person is in a subservient position, and this subservience is often only assumed rather than real.
7. Lack of boundaries – Most narcissists fail to understand their boundaries and recognize that other people are individuals rather than extensions of themselves. The narcissist fails to recognize the independence of the other person.

Narcissists:

• are not aware their thought patterns are inappropriate
• think about themselves without taking the perspective of others
• believe they are unique and special (they have something you don’t)
• think of themselves in highly positive ways
• are self-important
• fantasize about power and fame
• feel entitled to have whatever they want
• exploit people's 'weaknesses and vulnerabilities'
• are indifferent to other people’s needs (callous)
• overrate their intelligence (exaggerated belief in self-importance)
• are focused on maintaining power and control
• perceive themselves as superior to others
• manipulate, manipulate, manipulate

All these traits contribute to the narcissist’s illusion that he or she controls reality. That financial success or fame is the result of their extraordinary and superior capabilities. However, the appearance of taking responsibility for their success is countered by attributing failure to others. They blame a partner for an unsuccessful task outcome.

Narcissists also regulate strategically self-concept positivity in several ways. These include outward displays of self-importance, fantasies of fame and power, and negative affective reactions to perceived self-threats. Finally, narcissists are described as having poor interpersonal relationships. 

Narcissistic relationships are characterized by a sense of personal entitlement, exploitation of the partner, indifference toward the partner’s needs, and a dearth of genuine love. Narcissists will not only implicitly derogate others in the process of maintaining positive self-views but narcissists also explicitly derogate others. 

Narcissists are predicted to be more rigidly self-enhancing.

Healthy narcissism is a structural truthfulness of the self, achievement of self and object constancy, synchronization between the self and the superego and a balance between libidinal and aggressive drives (the ability to receive gratification from others and the drive for impulse expression). Healthy narcissism forms a constant, realistic self-interest and mature goals and principles and an ability to form deep object relations. A feature related to healthy narcissism is the feeling of greatness.