Top five regrets of the dying

A palliative nurse who has counselled the dying in their last days has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. 

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself,
   not the life others expected of me.
   Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
     
2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.
   They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. They deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
     
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
   Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others and they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
      
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
   Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
      
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
   Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to themselves, that they were content.

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Children may not make you happy

It is a taboo that one is not allowed to say children make one unhappy and the obvious issue is why we should expect happiness from our children in the first place. It is a mistake to expect happiness from anything. Not only that, but having children ought not to be about one's personal happiness. Do we really have children only for the most selfish reasons – to please ourselves? Is it actually possible to "make" anyone happy at all? Don't depend on children because in their priorities, you get feeling of neglect. Never meddle in children's lives. Their life is theirs, not yours. Finally, reducing luxuries, minimizing expenses and simple living is sure road to happiness.

• Wanting offspring is hardwired, but for most of us, the decision to have a child is intensely personal that  has become all the more daunting in recent years that parents are miserable and stretched to the limit. 
• Parents experience a high point of happiness & euphoria when their first child was born. This is because in our areligious society children will give our lives meaning (as well as being our most likely stab at an afterlife).
• Too many parents link their well-being to the mood of their offspring and end up miserable and guilt-ridden. Our happiness is inseparable from the happiness of our children. 
• Once the initial thrill is past, do children make parents happier? Having children does not make parents happier at all and more often children make their parents unhappy. And the more children you have, the unhappier you are likely to be. Parents are no happier than their childless peers.
• Some studies find that parents are happier and more satisfied than their childless peers but some studies find no difference, and some studies find the reverse. The question of whether parents are happier than non-parents is not a meaningful one. Rather, it depends on the parent and the child.
• Parents have a tremendous fear of unhappiness. Parents are in the mad hope that their children will be consistently content. And it is daft because to be alive is to be inconsistent and sometimes to be unhappy.
• Nobel prize-winning behavioural economist Daniel Kahneman reveals that Texan mothers put childcare 16th, almost at the bottom of a list of ordinary pleasures (after sleeping, shopping, talking on the phone). Children have a detrimental effect on marriage (parents are spending more time with their children, less with one another). 
• Parents are needed for their children's survival. Happiness is neither here nor there. The best happiest times with my children are usually the least planned. We should try and lift the happiness pressure as parents. Happiness does not come when it is called. But, in the end, parenting is not about happiness, it is about love – not the same thing at all.
• Young parents and parents with small children are particularly unhappy, while other types report high life satisfaction, happiness, or meaning. Whether or not children go hand in hand with happiness depends on many factors, including our age, marital status, income and social support, as well as whether our children live with us and have difficult temperaments.

People without children are as happy as those children with them. It is the childless who often turn out to be the most creative, generous and en rapport with other people's children. As a parent, one quickly runs out of steam as a child entertainer. Perhaps it is as grandparents that we may reasonably predict future happiness – because the relationship with grandchildren is lighter, part-time and with no responsibility.

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Retired Life - Rules for happiness & peace

Money must be spent for your comforts; it may be given away to others. 

But wealth accumulated may end up with King or under the earth.

 ... a Sumathi Satakamu poem paraphrased

Children are the source of our greatest joy and our greatest sorrow. Children give our lives purpose, infuse fun and pride into our lives, and enrich our identities. At the same time, they are also vectors for worry, anger, and disappointment; they deprive us of energy and sleep; and they strain our finances and our marriages. Keeping these findings in mind, 94% of parents say that having children is still worth it, despite the costs.

Happiness everytime

India ranks 133rd among 156 countries in 2017, way below Pakistan (75th position), in the world happiness report. India lags behind almost all its neighbours except Afghanistan(145th). [China(86th), Bhutan(97th), Nepal(101st), Bangladesh(115th), and Sri Lanka (116th)]. Predictors of happiness in a society are: social connectedness, ability and opportunities to thrive, opportunities for growth, finding meaning and purpose in what we do, low crime rates and a healthy environment. Change is constant and people - after brief transitional period learn to adapt. Humans do have remarkable capacity to adapt and they usually do. In present times, chaos seems to have become order of things, but people have come to accept an enduring state of chaos as the new reality and are learning to adapt to it.

• Happiness can change, and does change, according to the quality of the society in which people live.
• Experience joy of friendship and community support.
• The longer you live, the more likely you are to become happier.
• We are happiest in our childhood and old age.
• Happiness levels steadily drop during early adulthood bottoming out in mid-40's. By age 50, those levels are in upswing again.
• Even as our happiness levels are on downward curve, we might, nevertheless, experience periods of great happiness.
• Our sliding happiness curve is due to stress and life changes in 20s, 30s & 40s. Working long hours, getting married, raising children, caring for ageing parents, putting away money for future et al.
• The youth's magical thinking that success in life is inevitable is replaced by the reality that things aren't always good. The realization is that good can from bad.
• If you have friends or relatives whom you can confide in, then you are automatically happier than people who have no one to turn to for advice or companionship.
• Social connections are good for us. Loneliness can kill. It is not the number of friends or social connections you have but the quality of your close relationship that matter.
• People who or married or live with their partners tend to be happier than those who are unattached and lonely. It is the texture of the relationships that makes the difference.
• Calling your spouse your best friend is another way of saying ' I've a got a pretty marriage'.
• Regardless of the status of one's relationship, people who have one to count on are happier, because they are not lonely.
• Most people prefer a good work-life balance above all else. Variety and learning new things are important, but not as important as work-life balance.
• If your job is preventing you from giving time to your family or partner, or if you worry about work problems even when you are not working, or if you are too tired after work to enjoy other things, that has a massive effect on your well being. 
• Stress is a major factor for unhappiness. Being content and at peace with our environment keeps negative emotions in check. A stressed unhappy person will be prone to psychosomatic conditions like anxiety, head aches, digestive issues or blood pressure fluctuations.
• The feeling of despondency and not being active, contributing member of society can deplete happiness levels.
• Staying active and eating healthy not only prevent lifestyle diseases but also boosts happiness.
• The sooner we take decisions that help us be happier, the better it is. That includes scheduling a fixed bedtime and picking up hobby or sport to balance the demands of leading a competitive lifestyle. Factoring in fun and enjoyment is essential for  peace and harmony in life.
• People who are able to feel a range of emotions, including negative ones, are happier than those who insist on feeling happy all the time.
• To make happiness a mainstay in life, we  need to (i) adjust our attitude*, (ii) learn something new#, (iii) interact differently with your partner@ (iv) focus on what you have%, (v) express gratitude& and (vi) give back$.
        * you may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can control
           how you react.
        # exploring new experiences can boost happiness and enhance
           quality of your life.
       @ after years together, couples are not as kind to each other as they
            could be. Treat your partner like a friend, involving less taking for
            granted and more positivity.
       % live in the present with what you have, forgetting shadows of past and
           bad thoughts, and  the future has a way sorting itself out.
       & instead of just feeling gratitude, expressing thankfulness spreads
           goodwill and joy and we respond to our environment in a
           positive manner.
       $ by getting involved with a cause or an organisation you will create
          opportunities to make more meaningful connections with new people.

Source: Readers Digest India | May 2018 | P68-75

Why does good things to happen to wicked people?

This question is similar to its opposite: Why does bad things to happen to good people? Both questions refer to what seems to be the perplexing injustice we witness every day. Evil people live by their own rules, enjoying all the wealth and pleasures of the world and collecting riches. They have no struggles; their bodies are healthy and strong. Then we witness the wicked people around us getting new possessions, luxurious homes, promotions, and beautiful clothes, while good people struggle financially. 

Neighbor's prosperity is no concern of ours. In the end it doesn't matter! Our neighbors' fortunes are completely out of our hands. What is under our control is how we respond to it and, far more importantly how we handle what we have. Rather than gaze enviously at our neighbors' wealth, we should strive to be content. Having food, clothing, shelter and health, we should be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

The pursuit of wealth is a path that is likely to end in trouble, unhappiness and destruction. In the sanctuary of God, wicked people find it slippery and swept away. Those who have temporary riches on earth are in reality spiritual beggars because they do not have true riches, eternal life. If we keep God's way, the blessings will come automatically, as God sees fit. Whether we prosper financially or not, we know that God has our best interests at heart. God will give us all that we could ever need if we keep our focus on righteousness. There we will find truth, contentment, spiritual riches, and eternal joy.

It is that simple. Do good, trust God and don't worry! 

Money is difficult to earn; Money is difficult to save; Money is difficult to preserve; 
Money is difficult to invest; Money is troublesome all the way!

He who wishes become millionaire in a year will get hanged in two years.

My View:

Money is not that difficult to earn. Look at the people who earn money effortlessly by connections and manipulations. Money is only difficult to earn ethically, morally & legally. Compromise in all these three, then money will flood you. God seldom gives riches to good people. Morality is generally incompatible with amassing wealth.