The conundrum of wealth

The real matrix of happiness is not linked to material wealth. Every one gets lot of joy by gathering huge amount of material wealth. Money is the oxygen of life. One must have sufficient means to live a comfortable and contented life.

• The contentment quotient of life cannot be measured with material wealth gathered through means fair and foul, that one may have stashed away. 
• The bliss of a contented life is the sum total of human relationships and humane virtues. 
• A palatial mansion that offers the greatest of luxuries will be nothing short of a veritable hell if there is no love among the family members living in that opulent bungalow. Restful sleep eludes the denizens of such a plush house who are consequently the poorest of the poor, judged on the real matrix of happiness.
• Modern man is addicted to desire to amass heaps of wealth, which has rendered him completely bankrupt in the absence of the virtue of real love. 
• Loving others unconditionally softens our hearts and makes us truly compassionate towards fellow human beings. Love is the staple diet of the human soul; it infuses positive energy into our mind and body. This energy is manifested in our attitudinal change, and we begin to empathize with the entire creation of god. 
• The feelings of hatred, jealousy, revenge and ill-will begin to die a natural death.
• The inner joy for which man is ready to pay any exorbitant price, is not a costly affair. One can even derive a sense of deep contentment within one’s soul with even a small act of compassion and courtesy. The mantra of happiness, you don’t need to shell out any money.
• Small acts of kindness & generosity should not be just restricted to the human world. It lends an equal amount of peace and tranquility to the heart of the giver even when it is lavished on the members of the animal kingdom. Being merely kind to men and ruthless to animals will deprive us of that sense of complete joy.

A little house well filled, a little field well tilled, 
and a little wife well willed are great riches ... Benjamin Franklin
Money has no utility to me beyond a certain point ... Bill Gates

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Children may not make you happy

It is a taboo that one is not allowed to say children make one unhappy and the obvious issue is why we should expect happiness from our children in the first place. It is a mistake to expect happiness from anything. Not only that, but having children ought not to be about one's personal happiness. Do we really have children only for the most selfish reasons – to please ourselves? Is it actually possible to "make" anyone happy at all? Don't depend on children because in their priorities, you get feeling of neglect. Never meddle in children's lives. Their life is theirs, not yours. Finally, reducing luxuries, minimizing expenses and simple living is sure road to happiness.

• Wanting offspring is hardwired, but for most of us, the decision to have a child is intensely personal that  has become all the more daunting in recent years that parents are miserable and stretched to the limit. 
• Parents experience a high point of happiness & euphoria when their first child was born. This is because in our areligious society children will give our lives meaning (as well as being our most likely stab at an afterlife).
• Too many parents link their well-being to the mood of their offspring and end up miserable and guilt-ridden. Our happiness is inseparable from the happiness of our children. 
• Once the initial thrill is past, do children make parents happier? Having children does not make parents happier at all and more often children make their parents unhappy. And the more children you have, the unhappier you are likely to be. Parents are no happier than their childless peers.
• Some studies find that parents are happier and more satisfied than their childless peers but some studies find no difference, and some studies find the reverse. The question of whether parents are happier than non-parents is not a meaningful one. Rather, it depends on the parent and the child.
• Parents have a tremendous fear of unhappiness. Parents are in the mad hope that their children will be consistently content. And it is daft because to be alive is to be inconsistent and sometimes to be unhappy.
• Nobel prize-winning behavioural economist Daniel Kahneman reveals that Texan mothers put childcare 16th, almost at the bottom of a list of ordinary pleasures (after sleeping, shopping, talking on the phone). Children have a detrimental effect on marriage (parents are spending more time with their children, less with one another). 
• Parents are needed for their children's survival. Happiness is neither here nor there. The best happiest times with my children are usually the least planned. We should try and lift the happiness pressure as parents. Happiness does not come when it is called. But, in the end, parenting is not about happiness, it is about love – not the same thing at all.
• Young parents and parents with small children are particularly unhappy, while other types report high life satisfaction, happiness, or meaning. Whether or not children go hand in hand with happiness depends on many factors, including our age, marital status, income and social support, as well as whether our children live with us and have difficult temperaments.

People without children are as happy as those children with them. It is the childless who often turn out to be the most creative, generous and en rapport with other people's children. As a parent, one quickly runs out of steam as a child entertainer. Perhaps it is as grandparents that we may reasonably predict future happiness – because the relationship with grandchildren is lighter, part-time and with no responsibility.

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Retired Life - Rules for happiness & peace

Money must be spent for your comforts; it may be given away to others. 

But wealth accumulated may end up with King or under the earth.

 ... a Sumathi Satakamu poem paraphrased

Children are the source of our greatest joy and our greatest sorrow. Children give our lives purpose, infuse fun and pride into our lives, and enrich our identities. At the same time, they are also vectors for worry, anger, and disappointment; they deprive us of energy and sleep; and they strain our finances and our marriages. Keeping these findings in mind, 94% of parents say that having children is still worth it, despite the costs.

Life lessons

1. We must love.
   It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. It’s a truth so profound we can discuss it only with aphorisms. Yes, we must love, even if it breaks our hearts—because, unless we love, our lives will flash by.
2. Love isn’t enough.
   Although we must love, love is not enough to survive. We must take action to show others we care, to show them we love.
3. Happiness is not for sale.
   We can’t buy happiness. The stuff won’t make us happy. At best, material things will temporarily pacify us. At worst, they will ruin our lives. They will leave us empty, they will leave us depressed, and they will leave us even more alone.
4. Success is perspectival.
   Success is neither amassing wealth nor possessions. Having a six-figure job, the house with too many bedrooms, the luxury car, the tailored suit, the expensive watch, the big screen TV, and all the trappings of the material world would seem make you look successful. These things can make your family and friends proud of you but that is not success. All these luxuries are not luxuries after using them 20 times.
5. Make change a must.
   I didn’t have the feeling in my gut that things must change. I knew they should change, but the change wasn’t a must for me, and thus it didn’t happen. A decision is not a real decision until it is a must, until you feel it on your nerve-endings, until you are compelled to take action. Once your shoulds have turned into musts, then you are ready for change.
6. The meaning of life.
   Giving is living. The best way to live a worthwhile life is simple. Continuously grow as an individual and contribute to other people in a meaningful way. Growth and contribution is the meaning of life.
7. Health is underestimated.
   Our well-being is more important than most of us treat it. Without health, nothing else matters.
8. Sentimental items are less important.
9. Your job is not your mission.
   There’s nothing wrong with job and hard work, as long as it doesn’t get in the way of life’s more important areas like health, relationships, passion.
10. Finding your passion is important.
    Passion is not preexisting. You can cultivate a passion that aligns with your principles and desires.
11. Relationships matter.
    Every relationship is a series of gives and takes. For the relationship to work, both people must contribute to and get something. If you just give but don’t get, you’ll feel used, exploited, taken advantage of. If you only take but don’t give, you’re a parasite, a freeloader, a bottom-feeder.
12. You don’t need everyone to like you.
    We all want to be loved but you can’t value every relationship the same. You can’t expect everyone to love you the same. Life doesn’t work that way. When people don’t like you, nothing actually happens. The world does not end. You don’t feel them breathing down your neck. In fact, the more you ignore them and just go about your business, the better off you are.
13. Status is a misnomer.
    Similar to success, our culture places an extraordinary emphasis on material wealth as a sign of true wealth, and yet too many people of  “status” are miserable. They don’t seem wealthy. One’s true worth is not determined by his or her net worth.
14. Jealousy is a wasted emotion.
    Competition breeds jealousy, although we give it prettier labels like “competitive spirit,” or “ambition.” Jealousy is ugly. It is never a way to express that we care. It’s only a channel through which we broadcast our insecurities.
15. Everybody worships something.
    There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship.
16. I am not the center of the universe.
    It’s difficult to think about the world from a perspective other than our own. We are always worried about what’s going on in our lives. Why am I not happy with my life? We are strongly aware of everything connected to our lives, but we are only one ingredient in a much larger recipe.
17. Awareness is the most precious freedom.
    Minimalism is a tool to rid ourselves of excess in favor of a deliberate life. It is a tool to take a seemingly intricate and convoluted world, cluttered with its endless embellishments, and make it simpler, easier, realer. It is unimaginably hard to remain conscious, attentive, and aware. It is difficult not to fall back into a trance-like state, surrounded by the trappings and obstructions of the tiring world around us—but it is crucial to do so, for this is real freedom.
18. Be on the mountain.
    This term as a metaphor means for living in the moment. When you climb to the peak, don’t immediately plan your descent. Enjoy the view. Be on the mountain. Just be.
19. We are scared for no reason.
    We are often scared of things that don’t have a real effect on our lives (or that we can’t control, so we’re worrying for no reason).
20. Change is growth.
    We all want a different outcome, and yet most of us don’t want any change in our lives. Change equals uncertainty, and uncertainty equals discomfort, and discomfort isn’t fun. But when we learn to enjoy the process of change—when we chose to look at uncertainty as variety—then we get to reap all the rewards of change. That is how we grow.
21. Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make us perfect.
    I am not perfect, and I never will be. I make mistakes and bad decisions, and I fail at times. I stumble, I fall. I am human—a mixed bag, nuanced, the darkness and the light—as are you. And you are beautiful.
22. The past does not equal the future.
    My words are my words, and I can’t take them back. You can’t change the past, so it’s important to focus on the present. If the past equaled the future, then your windshield would be of no use to you. You would simply drive with your eyes glued to the rear view mirror. But driving this way—looking only behind you—is a sure-fire way to crash.
23. Pain can be useful, but not suffering.
    Pain lets us know something is wrong: it indicates we must change what we’re doing. Suffering, though, is a choice, and we can choose to stop suffering, to learn a lesson from the pain and move on with our lives.
24. Doubt kills.
    The person who stops you from doing everything you want to do, who stops you from being completely free, who stops you from being healthy, happy, and passionate—is you.
25. It’s okay to wait.
    Sometimes it’s okay to wait a little longer for something. Why rush if you don’t have to? Why not enjoy the journey?
26. Honesty is important.
    Honesty, at the most simple level, is telling the truth—not lying. It’s supremely important to be honest, and it’s hurtful when you’re not.
27. Openness is just as important as honesty.
    Openness involves being honest while painting an accurate picture, shooting straight, not misleading other people, and being real. Openness is far more subjective, and you must be honest with yourself before you can be open with others. This doesn’t mean you must put your entire life on display. Some things are private, and that’s okay, too.
28. Getting people’s buy-in.
    Adding value to other people is the only way to get their buy-in. That’s how you get their buy-in.
29. Hype is cancerous.
    So often we fall for the hype (“Buy More, Save More!” and “Three Day Sale!”), and we are suckered into rash buying decisions because of scarcity and a false sense of urgency. We can train ourselves, however, to not only resist such hype, but to have a vitriolic reaction to the hype that we avoid anything that’s hyped. 
30. I’m still trying to figure it all out.
    I don’t intend to promulgate my views and opinions as some sort of maxims by which you should live your life. What works for me, may not work for you. Hell, sometimes it doesn’t even work for me.

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More lessons:

1. It’s not about how people feel about you, but how you make them feel.
   Growing older has shown me the cool kids aren’t always the happy kids. I realized what people think about you isn’t nearly as important as how you make them feel.
2. Consider all advice.
   It’s amazing how much smarter our parents appear as we we get older. In many instances, if I had listened to my parents’ and grandparents’ advice, I could have avoided learning lessons the hard way. I told myself that even if I didn’t agree with what someone was telling me, I would at least consider their advice. This has forced me to look into the mirror to consider what I must change.
3. Happiness comes from within.
   Happiness comes from within, not from the things we own.
4. You’ll never be happy with more until you’re happy with what you have currently.
   It’s as simple as that. I discovered I usually don’t get rewarded in life with more until I appreciate what I have currently.
5. Forgiveness is incredibly important.
   There is a profound saying in the bible: “Freely forgive others as you forgive yourself.” When I learned how to let things go and easily forgive others, I was a much happier person. In fact, I found the bigger the wrong I forgave, the better I felt.
6. You can count your closest friends on one hand.
   As you grow older you find out who is actually your friend and who isn’t.
7. Being honest is always the right thing.
   Even when I have royally screwed up in life, I have found honesty punishes me less and gains trust more.
8. If you lie, you will get caught.
   If you lie, you will probably have to tell more lies to cover up the original lie. It’s a vicious cycle.
9. Although honesty is important, I don’t have to be completely transparent.
   Just because something is true, I don’t have to say it. I needn’t spew forth every thought that enters my head.
10. People are inherently good.
    Even the people who’ve treated me poorly are still good at some level. None of us are perfect. This has helped me be less cynical.
11. Slow down.
    We all need to slow down, breathe, and pace ourselves when we get overwhelmed.
12. Friendly people at work aren’t necessarily your friends.
    Be careful whom you open up to at work.
13. Stay true to yourself.
    If it doesn’t feel right, if it doesn’t feel good, if it doesn’t feel like you—then don’t do it. I’m much happier when I follow this advice.
14. Every decision matters.
    Every decision we make affects our future. There is no such thing as a zero-sum decision.
15. There is no such thing as a free lunch.
    Every decision we make costs us something: be it time, emotion, money, etc.
16. “Act as if…”
    Be the change in the world you want to be. Either way, this line has helped me throughout my life.
17. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” —Eleanor Roosevelt. 
    You needn’t care what people think or say about you. What they say or think is only true if you believe it’s true. Don’t let anyone get the best of you.
18. Some of life’s most profound advice is found in platitudes.
    “You can be anything you want to be,”
    “Life’s too short,”
    “Time heals all wounds,”
    “Good things come to all those that wait,” etc.
    Don’t dismiss it just because it’s a platitude.
19. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
    It’s easier for me to avoid jealousy, it’s easier for me to forgive, and it’s easier for me to overlook the negative things in life.
20. It’s all small stuff.
    Until you have a few life-changing experiences, this isn’t clear. I have had a few close calls with myself, friends, and family which have shown me how small my problems are.
21. If you don’t take care of your health, it will fade fast.
    I don’t think I need to articulate this one any more. 
22. Relationships are important.
    Don’t burn a bridge with another person if you can avoid it. You never know who will decide your fate.
23. Live life with passion.
    If I didn’t have passion in my life, I would be bored to death. If you’re bored, focus on your passions. If you don’t have time for your passions, make time.
24. If you’re not growing, you’re dying.
    If you’re not growing in life, you are simply living out your days.
25. Contribute.
    Contributing to someone else, or to a community, will make you feel good. Contribution is what makes me feel the most alive. Contributing to others keeps me going, gets me up in the mornings, and continues to inspire me.
26. In twenty years you will regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did do.
27. Life is happening now!
    Don’t forget to live life in the moment.
28. Learn to let go.
    This was a hard lesson but it serves true. Sometimes it’s just better to let things go. 
29. Everything changes.
    Things don’t look different day-to-day, but when you look back ten years it’s all different. Change is an absolute, and we should plan accordingly. Don’t fool yourself.
30. Procrastination is useless.
    I realized that no matter how long I put something off, it’s still there the next day. 

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Trust

Trust is defined as assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something. And one in which confidence is placed. 

Trust is fundamental to life. If you cannot trust in anything, life becomes intolerable, a constant battle against paranoia and looming disaster. You can’t have relationships without trust. Intimacy depends on it. People claim to be overworked and under constant pressure don’t delegate, because they don’t trust people to do what they’ve been asked to do; so they have to take on every significant task themselves. It’s not the pressure of actual work that’s driving them towards some stress-related illness, it’s their lack of trust in anyone and anything. Trust has to start somewhere. Why not with you? Why not today? Why not right now? 

• Trust is a rare commodity these days.
• Trust affects a leader’s impact and the company’s bottom line more than any other single thing.
• It's a mistake for a leader to assume that others trust him simply by virtue of his title.
• Trust must be earned, and it takes time. 
• You will be trusted as leader, only to the degree that people believe in your ability, consistency, integrity, and commitment to deliver. 
• You can earn trust over time, by building and maintaining eight key strengths:
  (1) Clarity: People trust the clear and mistrust or distrust the ambiguous.
  (2) Compassion: People put faith in those who care beyond themselves.
  (3) Character: Do what is right ahead of what is easy.
  (4) Contribution: Few things build trust quicker than actual results.
  (5) Competency: Stay fresh, relevant, and capable.
  (6) Connection: People want to follow, buy from, and be around friends.
  (7) Commitment: People believe in those who stand through adversity.
  (8) Consistency: Little things done consistently makes big difference. 
• Commitment builds trust.
• You can have compassion and character, but without the results you promised, people won’t trust you. 
• The key competency is the ability to learn amid chaos. 
• Arrogance attitude prevent you from growing, and compromises others’ confidence in you. 
• Trust is all about relationships, and relationships are best built by establishing genuine connection. Ask questions, listen, and above all, show gratitude. Grateful people are not entitled to complaining and gossiping.
• Do the little things, consistently. The great leaders consistently do the small but most important things first. The little things done consistently make for a higher level of trust and better results.

Trust can’t be built overnight. It requires time, effort, diligence, and character. Inspiring trust is not slick or easy to fake. Focus on these eight components with every action, you will foster trusted relationships with employees, customers, suppliers, or fellow leaders that will drive results.

Intimate sharing among strangers is a fact. Trust can exist among strangers. Trust and discretion exist among strangers online when sufficient information exists to act as social cues for trustworthiness or connections to other individuals for whom the trustworthiness decision has already been made.

Trust is a funny thing like love and life; 
you never really know you can trust some one until you know you can't; 
you won't know if you don't try.

My View:
Most people are trust worthy to certain extent. Some people fail miserably. But it is worth while to get along life with majority trustworthy people, until one proves untrustworthy. Otherwise, one ends up doing everything without discretion and delegation and can't grow or collapse under own weight. Trust is sometimes confused with naivete or hallowed by optimism, but trust and its corollary discretion, are what makes social interaction possible. Everyone is out for themselves subconsciously. They will sell you out the moment they are tempted with riches or power. However, checks and balances mitigates risks involved. No one is trustworthy one hundred percent except spouse.

The man who cycled from India to Europe

Pradyumna Kumar Mahanandia (born 1949) usually referred to as Dr. P.K. Mahanandia, India-born Swedish artist famous for his 4 months and 3 weeks journey by a bicycle from India to Europe in 1977 to meet his love Charlotte Von Schedvin.

PK Mahanandia met Charlotte Von Schedvin in Delhi for the first time in 1975

Ms Von Schedvin was visiting India as a tourist when she spotted Mr Mahanandia in Delhi's Connaught Place district. Intrigued by his claim of "making a portrait in 10 minutes", she decided to give it a try. But she wasn't impressed with the result and decided to come back the next day. The next day sadly, proved no better.

Whenever he felt sad, his mother would tell him that according to his horoscope, he would someday marry a woman "whose zodiac sign would be Taurus, she would come from a far away land, she would be musical and would own a jungle". So when he met Ms Von Schedvin, he immediately remembered his mother's predictions and asked her if she owned a jungle. Ms Von Schedvin, whose family comes from Swedish nobility, replied that she did own a forest and added that not only was she "musical" (she liked to play the piano) her zodiac sign was also Taurus.

After several conversations, she agreed to visit Orissa with him. The first monument she saw there was the famous Konark temple. "I became emotional when PK showed me the Konark. I had this image of the temple stone wheel framed in my student room back in London, but I had no idea where this place actually was. And here I was standing in front of it." The two fell in love and returned to Delhi after spending a few days in his village. "She wore a sari when she met my father for the first time. I still don't know how she managed.

With blessings from my father and family, we got married according to tribal tradition," he said.

Ms Von Schedvin had driven to Delhi with her friends from Sweden along the famous hippie trail - crossing Europe, Turkey, Iran, Afghanistan and Pakistan - to reach India in 22 days. She said goodbye to him to start her return journey. More than a year passed and the two kept in touch through letters.

Mr Mahanandia however, did not have enough money to buy a plane ticket. So, he sold everything he owned, bought a bicycle and followed her along the same hippie trail. His journey started on 22 January 1977 and he would cycle for around 70km (44 miles) every day. "Art came to my rescue. I made portraits of people and some gave me money, while others gave me food and shelter," he said. Mr Mahanandia remembers the world as being very different in the 1970s. For instance, he did not need a visa to enter most countries. He finally reached Europe on 28 May - via Istanbul and Vienna, and then travelled to Gothenburg by train.

After several cultural shocks and difficulties in impressing Ms Von Schedvin's parents, the two finally got officially married in Sweden. The 64-year-old now lives with Charlotte and their two children in Sweden and continues to work as an artist.

But he still doesn't understand "why people think it was a big deal to cycle to Europe". "I did what I had to, I had no money but I had to meet her. I was cycling for love, but never loved cycling. It's simple."

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-35299608