Gossiping is good

Gossip is casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed as true. Gossip is also defined as the unsanctioned evaluative talk about people who aren’t present. We all enjoy the pleasures of talking about other people. Word on the street is that gossip is the worst. Gossip was once characterized as “the faceless demon that breaks hearts and ruins careers.” It was described as a “three-pronged tongue” that kills three people: the teller, the listener, and the person being gossiped about. An observation was that “if people really knew what others said about them, there would not be four friends left in the world.” Convincing as these indictments seem, research suggests that gossip may in fact be healthy. 

• Talking behind other people's backs may not always be nice, but sometimes it can help promote cooperation and self-improvement.
• Gossip can play the role of protecting others from being exploited by passing on information about bad behavior to warn others.
• Gossip is a good thing since it is pervasive. Despite its dodgy reputation, only 3-4% is actually malicious.
• If two people share negative feelings about a third person, they are likely to feel closer to each other than they would if they both felt positively about him or her.
• We can trade information with third parties about people who aren’t around in order to learn from other people’s experiences.
• In organizations, management becomes defensively tight lipped at a time of impending crisis. Nature abhors a vacuum and the gossip rushes to fill it.
• Gossip may even make us better people. Gossip about others made research subjects more reflective. Positive gossip inspired self-improvement efforts, and negative gossip made people prouder of themselves.
• Many people felt upon hearing a piece of negative gossip, are likely to say they had learned a lesson from it.
• Negative gossip can also have a pro-social effect on those who are gossiped about. Once people who were ostracized from a group due to reputed selfishness had reformed their ways in an attempt to regain the approval of the people they had alienated.
• Leaders and politicians have to be reminded that openness costs less than the impact of false stories and the time it takes to rub out the stain they leave. It requires a community of trust for gossip to be good for all of us.

So the next time you are tempted to dish the dirt, fear not. You may actually be promoting cooperation, boosting others’ self-esteem, and performing the essential task of the human family. 

Small people talk about other people, 
mediocre people talk about things and great people talk about ideas.
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't ... Earl Wilson

Gossip is what no one claims to like, but everybody enjoys ... Joseph Conrad

Women are more skilled than men at making gossip entertaining ... Kate Fox

Read the source article

Although some benefits exist for gossip, it is basically negative trait. But it is part & parcels of the fundamental rights of citizens and can't be accused of any crime. The problem with gossip is that it is based on little facts, fiction or hearsay. That's what makes it fun, but people take it as the truth, turn it around, and throw it in your face. However, it is better to stay away from gossiping as it serves little purpose and ruins our character.

Avoid being judgmental

• We are all judgmental. It’s human nature. 
• While it is in our nature to be judgmental, it’s not always useful to us. We look down on others, as if we are so much better and that creates division between people. 
• You are not the only one with betchy opinions. We see someone, and based on their looks or actions, we pass judgment on them. Not good judgment, either. Usually without even knowing the person. In most cases, we don’t really have any idea what’s behind other people’s actions. We don’t make an effort to get to know the person, or understand them, or see whether our judgment was right or not. 
• We judge, without understanding. We don’t try to find out more, and through communication begin to understand, and through understanding begin to build a bridge between two human beings.
• It might be hard to avoid gossip completely, but make an effort to change the conversation when your friends start sounding judgmental. Try bringing up another perspective, or sneak some of that person’s good qualities into the discussion. If you can’t help but get caught up in the negativity of your usual social group, find a more positive friend who you can spend time with too.
• Everyone makes mistakes, so make a point of framing it as a bad action, not a sign of bad character. 
• As you feel a negative thought enter your brain, accept it as a thought only and then redirect your mind to think about something else. Detaching yourself from your thoughts will keep you from getting caught up in criticizing others.
• An onslaught of scary events (political upheaval, apocalyptic weather) has made us all feel unstable, amplifying our instinctual urge to call out those who threaten the norm. Because things seem less predictable we're assessing more, looking to shut down threats everywhere. 
• It is easy to dismiss these savage instincts as harmless. But constantly judging others can create an addictive cycle. We judge, then judge ourselves for judging, then feel bad, then judge others again, ultimately losing way too much mental energy to process that makes us feel foolish. 
• The solution is noticing the critical thoughts and then replacing them with kindness. 
• When you begin your day with self-judgment, you end up projecting those insecurities onto others. Instead try to notice your judgment without judgment. When you realize that you are critiquing yourself, congratulate yourself for noticing. Positive reinforcement neutralizes negative feelings, squashing the urge to transfer them onto someone else.
• After recognizing what triggers your judginess and using positive mantras, try cultivating compassion. Looking for people's good qualities helps you feel more love for them. So close your eyes for a second, breathe deep, and reflect on how hardworking this guy is.
• Evening is great time to take inventory of your and forgive yourself for all the times you have judged. This is the last step in your detox. No matter how many negative thoughts slipped through, tell yourself that you did the best you could. And be proud of all the critical thoughts you did catch. 
• In order to let other people off the hook, you first have to let yourself off the hook.

Be curious, not judgmental ... Walt Whitman

Implausible Indian media suffers trust deficit

During 2017 increasing numbers of people express no faith in the mainstream media. Main stream media houses owned by business houses are biased and are TRP driven. Their focus is on earnings, breaking news, advertisements and hardly get any chance to verify the veracity of the news. Driven by competition, the media and journalists became corrupt, lacked ethics & morals, irresponsible, spread fake stories and fake propaganda etc leading to erosion of public faith. With media suffering enormous trust deficit, their viewership has eroded and people started depending more and more on social media.

• During the last two decades, rules and norms of journalism have been cast aside amidst the frenzied competition. Loose allegations, without even the basic verification, are broadcast and published with little fear of defamation. When today's news is the next hour's history, then truth can lose out to sensationalism with worrying consequences for media credibility.
• Journalism is the activity of gathering, assessing, creating, and presenting news and information. The purpose of journalism is to provide citizens with the information they need to make the best possible decisions about their lives, their communities, their societies, and their governments.
• Journalism must be fair and accurate through objective methods and managing bias. Journalism is different from other forms of communication and that is what make it indispensable to democratic societies.
• Our journalists of present days are simply presstitutes not journalists.        Presstitute is defined as an individual reporter or news broadcaster, or a media news group, who reports to be unbiased but is in fact tailoring their news to suit someone's goal of corporations or big businesses or political parties.
• The implausible Indian media is known for spreading fake stories and fake propaganda and none believes its news stories. The journalists turned to be PR agents of few political parties to earn benefits.
• There are now more than 500 channels across the country, a third of which are news channels. Add over a 100 million newspaper copies that are sold every day, more than 8 million internet users, and the image of a news-driven society is complete. When consumption reaches such mammoth proportions, the media is bound to play a larger-than-life role in our lives.
• Media is one of the most corrupt institutions with no ethics, no morals, no patriotism and no responsibility. They are divided by names and united by TRP ratings. In most countries people won't trust media content which has vested interests and exploit the situation for gaining TRPs.
• Every night we see news anchors to play judge, jury and executioner. From being neutral and detached observers of the news, media have arrogated to themselves the right to speak for the nation. If you look at media now, all the hosts of these other shows are interviewing themselves. The guests are a prop for the anchors.
• Very often Indian journalists use silly issues blown out of proportions to create panic among public. In India media and people form Lutyens club of Delhi and play main role in spreading fake stories. The poor and middle classes have no idea what exactly is the truth and tend to believe these media stories as truthful.
• With trust deficit, news channels have turned out be gossip boxes. With emergence of social media, main stream media has lost relevance and viewership declining.
• The media pretends it is speaking for the anonymous masses but the same audience believes it has the right to hold the media accountable. The media, which holds the rest of society to a higher standard of accountability doesn't adhere to those same rigorous standards. 
• History reveals that the more democratic a society, the more news and information it tends to have. The media is supposed to reflect the opinion and voice of the unheard where as in reality they are for rich and influential people giving rise to total trust deficit.
• The media as a whole must not be judged by the flawed behaviour of a few. The media is made up of hundreds of committed journalists, reporters and news gatherers all of whom do a tough honest day's job in bringing you the news without fear or favour. It is they who uphold the spirit of journalism.
• A recent poll suggested that 97% of those polled did not trust journalists. Another poll ranked the media just above real estate agents and politicians in the trust factor. Restoring the media trust deficit is a distant mirage.

In the infamous 2G Scam case of Rs.176,000 crores, the special CBI court judge, on Dec 20, 2017, acquitted all accused stating that prosecution has miserably failed to prove any of the charges against any of the accused. Special court judge said that “a huge scam was seen by everyone where there was none. Some people created a scam by artfully arranging a few selected facts and exaggerating things beyond recognition to astronomical levels.” Former PM Manmohan Singh said the 2G scam was a massive media propaganda against the UPA without any proof. 

Silence is Golden

Silence is Golden - A proverbial saying, often used in circumstances where it is thought that saying nothing is preferable to speaking. 'Speech is silvern; Silence is golden', is sometimes used. Present-day feminists would prefer it as 'Silence is a woman's best garment'.

Not talking means you are listening. When you are listening, you understand. There is no need to come up with something to say. There is no need to worry about whether you are a good conversationalist. And there is no need to try to make out what the person means. Everything that you need will come to you if you are receptive to receive it. 

We cannot control the way people interpret our ideas or thoughts, but we can control the words and tones we choose to convey them. Peace is built on understanding, and wars are built on misunderstandings. Never underestimate the power of a single word. 

Small people talk about other people, mediocre people talk about things, great people talk about ideas.

Avoid people who always have something to say and those who expect you to always have something to say. Don’t talk to people you don’t want to talk to, and don’t talk about stuff you don’t want to talk about.

• Nature's greatest gift to man is the ability to think and talk.
• People love to talk but hate to listen.
• No matter what we talk about, we are talking about ourselves.
• When you have nothing to say, say nothing.
• Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
• An egotist talks and looks down on others.
• A fool speaks without thinking; a wise man thinks before speaking.
• Refrain from indulging in gossip. Small talk comes out of big mouths.
• When money talks it doesn't talk sense and truth remains silent.
• Talking vitiates doing.
• Talk only when you have something to say.

Learned is not he who talks much

Wise men speak because they have something to say; 

Fools because they have to say something ... Plato

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say ... RW Emerson

21 Things modern man need to stop doing

Our society’s becoming emasculated. Our men are becoming soft, weak, and vain. Our society was literally built by the hands of strong men who did the work without complaint. It’s being destroyed by men who don’t know how to be men. Boys who aspire for fame are concerned about winning, about popularity, about finding themselves, about getting what they feel they deserve without doing the work to get it.

1. Stop taking selfies. It’s weird. It’s vain.
2. Stop thinking you’re entitled to a single thing. You’re not entitled to someone else’s money. You’re not entitled to happiness, only its pursuit.
3. Stop complaining. Men don’t complain. They don’t cry about how things are, they accept them and do what they need to do to make them better.
4. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop wishing you were in someone else’s shoes. Stop wanting what someone else has. Stop looking over the fence and start looking in the mirror.
5. Stop watching porn. It changes how you treat women, for the worse. Go get a real woman, treat her well and with respect. It’s turning a generation into impotent, sadistic cowards who treat women like objects.
6. Stop watching TV. Read a book instead.
7. Stop worrying about your clothes. Clothes don’t make the man. Take pride in how you present yourself. Stop fretting over your appearance because appearance is not the measure of a man. The content of your character is who you are. The clothes you wear mean nothing.
8. Stop being a little bitch*. Stand up for what’s right. Fight what’s wrong. Stop being a little bitch and take a stance. Fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.
   (* A small person who complains about everything)
9. Stop letting your fear inhibit my freedom. Stop trying to take my guns. Stop trying to tell me what I can and can’t buy. Don’t let your fear inhibit my freedom. Don’t be a coward.
10. Stop thinking you know everything. We take a stance and we have no real idea why the stance is taken. Every single human on this planet knows something that you don’t and has something to teach you. Go into every conversation with humility.
11. Stop blaming other people and entities for your lack of anything. This life is on you. Whether you’re happy, of value, and successful is on you. It isn’t the result of anything other than your own choices and actions. Stop blaming others for your lack of anything. Start taking control of your life, your thoughts, and your choices or just shut up.
12. Stop waiting for the perfect job to come your way, take the next one available. Too many humans think they’re destined for something perfect when they haven’t earned it. The reality is that you need a bloody paycheck, so take the next job and work very hard, climb the ladder, be better than your wage, and reap the future rewards.
13. Stop being a dick**. Smile. Be kind. Be good. Complement people. Help people. Open doors for women. Give your time to something other than your own benefit. Start being the good man you’re capable of being.
    (** Conducting oneself in an inappropriate manner to the annoyance of others)
14. Stop being insecure. Stop being so insecure that you can’t rejoice in the success of others. Stop being so insecure that you can’t be kind to your fellow man. Know that you’re better than the insecure prick who needs to push others down to feel good about himself.
15. Stop being a bully. Strength is given not to punish but to uplift. Fight for others, don’t pick on them. Defend others, don’t make fun of them. If you’re strong you have the chance to lead. If you’re a bully you’re going to get your ass kicked one of these days, if not by another human, by life as you end yours alone and without true, valuable relationships.
16. Stop sleeping in. Stop being lazy. It isn’t your right to be lazy. That’s not freedom. Freedom is earned, it’s won, it’s appreciated. When someone else is taking care of you, you have no freedom.
17. Stop waiting. Start acting. Start chasing your goals, your dreams, and hunting down your fears. Stop waiting for a gift, a promotion, a helping hand, go out and get it. It may take years to get what you want, but persist. God didn’t make you a quitter.
18. Stop quitting. Stop quitting when things get tough. Tribulation is opportunity, it always is and always has been. When the economy tanks, those who’ve saved their money, who’ve stayed disciplined when things were going well will have the chance to cash in. When the shit hits the fan you’re given an opportunity to persist, to push through, to become tougher and stronger. Stop quitting when it’s easier to quit, keep pushing.
19. Stop pouting. Life can suck. It’s harsh. It isn’t easy. Bad shit happens to good people all the time. But pouting is useless. Choose to look at the bright side, to appreciate wherever you are and the opportunities you have.
20. Stop wasting your money. Spend money on experiences and other people, not on things, nor on yourself. Money can be a great thing. It can help others. It can open your eyes to new ways of living, different cultures, climates, and creations. Stop wasting it on stupid shit. Start using it to enrich your life and the lives of others.
21. Stop gossiping. Gossip is weak, yet it dominates conversations. Men don’t do that shit. Talk about ideas, not other people. If you enter a conversation and it turns to gossip, excuse yourself from the conversation. Be better than that. Be about more than that.

If you could stop all these things you end up being a good & hard working person and everything comes to you with time. Not so easy! With consciousness it is achievable. Even if you accept and keep trying, by evaluating continuously you could improve progressively and become good man - a jewel in the society. Avoiding company of bad people is the first step.