Improve your marriage

Every marriage has its ups and downs. Conflict is a normal, even healthy, part of any relationship. What’s important is how you handle it. The rules for marriage are simple. No sudden moves, don’t crowd the other person, and keep all disastrous thoughts to yourself. Misery is the secret of happiness in marriage. Go make yourself miserable, and then come home. 

• Positive thinking can transform your life and your marriage immediately. Having a positive attitude can take practice, but the contagiousness of positivity can save your marriage.
• Positive thinking can reduce stress levels and may increase lifespan, improve cardiovascular health, lower depression levels, and even cut down on the common cold. 
• It’s basically impossible to be positive 100% of the time. But being mindful of your attitude is the key to making positivity an outlook you can attempt on the hardest of days.
• Showing gratitude and appreciating spouse is a great way to truly see all the things that they do for you. 
• The happier you feel, the happier your relationship will be, and the easier it will be to manage conflicts.
• Few people know your spouse as well as you do, so he or she will undoubtedly appreciate the power of your full attention. 
• Stopping to listen to your partner is a luxury you don’t have. Before you speak, take a minute to listen and empathize. Stop and listen to what your partner is saying. Showing empathy can improve communication.
• Steer clear of criticism, confrontation and hostility. Avoid verbalising critical thoughts, keep discussions from escalating, and don’t use absolutes. If a fight does start, try to change the subject, inject gentle humor, empathize or show your partner extra appreciation. Walk away and cool off for a while.
• If you find yourself in the middle of a heated argument, take 10 minutes to calm down and reconvene when the stress has left the room. Go for a walk, listen to a couple of your favorite songs, or agree to take a break together to put your disagreement aside. When you’ve both relaxed, you’ll be able to come back at your discussion with a fresh perspective.
• It’s tempting to blame your partner when you feel angry, disappointed, bored, betrayed or stressed out about your relationship. The next wrong step is expecting your mate as the one who must change for the relationship to improve. Change yourself. When you address your own flaws and seek the best in your companion, magic happens. Optimism increases. And you both feel motivated to change in ways that lead to even more joy.
• We get caught up in the daily chores and we feel like we don’t have time to have hobbies. May be you have hobbies, but they don’t involve your spouse. Put an activity on the calendar you can both look forward to. There are countless hobbies or vacation that you can start together that take very little time or money, but can strengthen your marriage considerably. 
• If you haven’t had a vacation in a very long time, plan a trip - even a one-night getaway counts. The much-needed time away from home can be refreshing and rejuvenating. 
• Here are little ways to make your spouse feel loved. Sit down and reminisce the photo albums of some of your favorite moments together. Revisiting some of your old wonderful experience to share and will bring about new memories for your long, happy future together.
• Be sure that compliments and thank yous are heartfelt and specific, and make eye contact when you smile. Speak less and listen more.

The couple that plays together stays together.

Marriage is not a contest; Never keep score.
In marriages, there are neither guarantees nor rules.

Leaders and Managers

Managers and leaders are both important. People follow managers because they must. People follow leaders by choice. And, it’s ideal for one person to have both qualities. You can hit a professional jackpot by being great at both. 

QUALITIES OF A GREAT LEADER

1. Being humble 
   A leader is someone who usually shares the spotlight and credits followers for the work that they have done as a team. It takes more confidence to be humble than in basking in the glory of accomplishment. Clients and employees appreciate humility, and leaders who give credit where credit’s due!
2. Lead by example
   Leaders lead by example. They are not hypocrites. If a leader wants subordinates to be punctual, they themselves will establish the habit of being punctual first. Leaders need to set the tone and the followers will be inspired to follow, automatically.
3. Communicate effectively
   Leaders will be able to effectively communicate on and off the job. Along with being heard and understood, great leaders also know the importance of listening. Leaders understand that communication is a two-way street.
4. Know your limits
   Leaders set limits for themselves. Leaders know what and how much they can tolerate, saving the entire office loads of frustration. Keeping clear boundaries helps prevent any sort of confusion.
5. Keep meetings productive
   Time is money! They avoid tangential discussions and other sources of unproductivity during meetings. Leaders trust their team to do their job right, with no need for micromanagement.
6. Be emotionally aware
   They keep all kinds of emotions out of the office. Business is more about the relationships between people. And to build and nurture lasting relationships a good leader has to be emotionally intelligent.
7. Never stop improving
   Great leaders are constantly learning and updating their knowledge. They never stop. They continually work to improve themselves and be better. There is always a new skill to master or a new project to work on. Great leaders keep their mind open for new possibilities and fresh ideas.

QUALITIES OF A GREAT MANAGER

1. Expect excellence
   It is important for a manager to set high yet realistic standards, and expect employees to meet them. Ultimately, the best managers are not those who are the nicest or the toughest, but those who get things done and demonstrate tangible results. Once employees understand that a manager expects excellence—not only their own, but that of others—they will likely begin to up their game and perform better.
2. Communicate regularly by providing meaningful feedback in real time
   At first, communicating effectively may sound a bit trite, but it is fundamental to sound management. The best and strongest managers are those who are excellent communicators. The ability to provide both positive and negative feedback is a core skill and competency for managers.
3. Don’t avoid conflict, but deal with it directly and fairly
   Every professional knows that the workplace is a breeding ground for conflict. Issues like compensation, interpersonal problems, cost-cutting, recognition, management-employee relations, layoffs, and many other points of conflict are bound to arise. There is never a shortage of molehills to create mountains out of.
   Though it is tempting to turn a deaf ear, the best managers do not avoid conflict and instead address any issues that arise fairly. Employees observe takes responsibility and who doesn’t.
   They are likely to show more respect to those managers who resolve issues immediately than those who ignore the problem or don’t act quickly.
4. Be open to new ways of looking at things
   Adaptability, flexibility, and being attuned to their environment are some of the qualities of a good manager. They always look for new opportunities by listening to what others have to say. It is important to be a good listener, no matter your role. That said, it’s quite common for, the best process improvement ideas come from employees who are relatively low in the organizational hierarchy. A good manager is never afraid to shift from the usual “This is the way we’ve always done it here.”
5. Accept that you still have a lot to learn
   Once they have attained a management position, managers sometimes forget that they are in the process of learning, too. You may have expertise in their field with years of experience, but keeping your mind open to new ideas is important. Professional advancement is fueled by a constant learning process—and once a manager accepts this and sets continuous improvement as a standard, they become a better manager than before.
6. Set a good example
   If a manager has an insular mentality, they may struggle to understand subordinates and face difficulty in making them abide by the rules. The same professionalism, commitment, and dedication that the manager demands from his juniors need to be upheld by him, as well.
7. Be decisive
   It is important for a manager to make decisions and stick to them. Employees are generally not comfortable with someone who constantly changes their mind on issues. A confident manager is one who does not fear being wrong. The best managers use bad situations as learning curves and as examples of what not to do. Employees are generally repelled by those employers who are in denial of the repercussions of the decisions that have been made by them.
8. Be patient with yourself
   Being able to develop strong skills leading and managing takes time. Keep in mind all of the above tips. Talk to more people who have been in the role, and learn from them. This will improve your skills as a manager.

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To gain success, a person will need high EQ;

If you don't want to lose quickly, you will need a high IQ;

If you want to be respected, you will need high LQ (of love) ... Jack Ma, Founder, Alibaba