Bargaining in flea markets

Bargaining is an art that can help you bring down the price of a product in direct proportion to your skills. Connecting well with people and having a psychological advantage over salespeople also result in a good negotiation and can fetch you a better price than you had bargained for.

• It's foolish not to bargain at a flea market. 
• Bargaining is the accepted and expected method of finding a compromise between the merchant and the customer.
• Prices can vary drastically among vendors at the same flea market. If prices aren't marked, assume there's a double price standard: one for locals and one for you. 
• Watch to see what others would be charged. 
• Usually traders raise the price to sometimes double the original cost. Ideally, one should bargain up to 20-30% of the quoted price.
• Marked prices can distort your idea of an item's true worth. Many people think that if they can cut the price by 50% they are doing great. So the merchant quadruples his prices and the customer happily pays double the fair value. The best way to deal with crazy price tags is to ignore them. 
• Before you even find out the price, determine the item's value to you, considering the hassles involved in packing it or shipping it home.
• Merchants hate to lose a sale. Work the cost down, but if it doesn't match with the price you have in mind, walk away. That last amount the merchant hollers out is often the best price you'll get. If that price is right, go back and buy. Prices often drop at the end of the day, when merchants are about to pack up.
• Keep a poker face and don't settle for the first counter-offer.
• Cash speaks volumes at a flea market. Offer to pay cash instead of credit cards. They're often more willing to strike a deal if you pay cash, since they save on credit-card fees. Often, vendors don’t even accept another form of payment.
• Look for defects. Inspect your item and point out the flaws prior to asking for a discount. If defects doesn't bother you much, you can bargain for additional discount too.
• Don't hurry. Bargaining is rarely rushed. Make sure you are dealing with someone who has the authority to bend a price downward. Bid respectfully. If a merchant accepts your price, you must buy the item.
• Don't show up in your designer duds and jewels and expect to get a discount. 
• Remember to ask respectfully. Don't be too petty by haggling over small amounts. If your item is priced at Rs.1000 then don’t be stingy and offer Rs.50. The vendor needs to make money too. But make your offer a little lower than you are willing to pay so there is room for negotiation. A few rupees is worth more to the shopkeeper than to you.
• Bargaining applies to goods, not to food sold at stands or outdoor produce markets. 
• As in all areas of life, kindness matters at the flea market too.
• Caution: If you buy an item (which you really don't need) at 40% discount, you haven't saved 40% but lost 60%. Buy only what you really need.

After retirement, I realized that while shops in malls, prices and discounts are fixed where we end up paying huge amounts not only for the higher quality goods but also for the ambiance, packaging and services. Similar goods, usually little lower in quality, are significantly cheaper and at times taxes not loaded in smaller shops. Hence I decided to buy most items from small street shops (rather than in malls) and never to indulge in tough bargain in flea markets but to just leave if I suspect prices are exorbitant.

Justice should be tempered with mercy

'Mercy' is compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power.

'Justice should be tempered with mercy' has a reference to Portia's speech in Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. It means the offender may have justly deserved a harsher punishment. If justice is tempered by mercy, it is adjusted to satisfy the idea of ‘mercy’. Hence the judge is less severe.

If someone has done something wrong, justice often leads to punishment, whether by a parent or teacher towards a child, or by a court towards a person who has committed an unlawful act. Punishment can sometimes be harsh. It suggests that while justice be done, the punishment has to softened by kindness. 

No one can accept that "eye for an eye" or "tooth for tooth" or the "law of retaliation" is just. Any justice untouched by spark of humanity or mercy is savage as justice is not tempered with mercy. If you forgive no man their trespasses neither will your father forgive your trespasses.

Criminal courts are halls of justice, not halls of mercy. Prosecutors often ask for the maximum penalty for the offense to be leveled against the defendant. Justice ought to be tempered with mercy, as mercy can make for good public policy. Almost all of those who go to prison are poor, and the handful who aren’t the state seems determined to make broke before they are released. When a judge sends someone to prison, the goal should be not just to punish them for their crimes, but to ensure that when they are released they become productive members of society. Making sure an inmate is financially wiped out upon release isn’t the way to do that.

Justice is not equivalent to meted punishment for moral and legal wrong. Justice is relinquishing what is due. When justice is abused, law rarely repairs the social rift. Instead it discourages repeated social rifts. If the criminal is ungrateful he will continue his behavior. Society may choose that risk rather than ruining the life and reputation of an individual over a single incident of indiscretion.

Once a junkie, always a junkie.

Very rarely people change themselves, especially for good. In the name of civilization, humanity and religion, if punishments are lenient, it promotes and encourages wrongdoings which are inherently profitable. Unless risk is high and profit is low, people will be tempted towards wrong doings. Therefore punishments must be harsh.

The conundrum of wealth

The real matrix of happiness is not linked to material wealth. Every one gets lot of joy by gathering huge amount of material wealth. Money is the oxygen of life. One must have sufficient means to live a comfortable and contented life.

• The contentment quotient of life cannot be measured with material wealth gathered through means fair and foul, that one may have stashed away. 
• The bliss of a contented life is the sum total of human relationships and humane virtues. 
• A palatial mansion that offers the greatest of luxuries will be nothing short of a veritable hell if there is no love among the family members living in that opulent bungalow. Restful sleep eludes the denizens of such a plush house who are consequently the poorest of the poor, judged on the real matrix of happiness.
• Modern man is addicted to desire to amass heaps of wealth, which has rendered him completely bankrupt in the absence of the virtue of real love. 
• Loving others unconditionally softens our hearts and makes us truly compassionate towards fellow human beings. Love is the staple diet of the human soul; it infuses positive energy into our mind and body. This energy is manifested in our attitudinal change, and we begin to empathize with the entire creation of god. 
• The feelings of hatred, jealousy, revenge and ill-will begin to die a natural death.
• The inner joy for which man is ready to pay any exorbitant price, is not a costly affair. One can even derive a sense of deep contentment within one’s soul with even a small act of compassion and courtesy. The mantra of happiness, you don’t need to shell out any money.
• Small acts of kindness & generosity should not be just restricted to the human world. It lends an equal amount of peace and tranquility to the heart of the giver even when it is lavished on the members of the animal kingdom. Being merely kind to men and ruthless to animals will deprive us of that sense of complete joy.

A little house well filled, a little field well tilled, 
and a little wife well willed are great riches ... Benjamin Franklin
Money has no utility to me beyond a certain point ... Bill Gates

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The art of giving

• The true Art in Giving is to give from the heart without any expectation of a return.
• A gift is something that is enjoyed by the giver who revels in the pleasure of giving something special and also enjoyed by the person who receives the gift.
• Very often it is not money or belongings that people need but a personal act of kindness, it's the advice reassurance, a kind word, compliments or a smile. 
• Sharing resources or time is never easy. There are many who have discovered joy in this simple yet difficult art. Sharing our resources, time, ideas, skills, etc. with those in the need of it may find its way back into our lives in diverse ways. Despite limitations and challenges, there are many people who have made a deep impact on society.
• Everybody has something of value for another person. It could be a kind word, a simple smile, some appreciation, the sharing of some special knowledge, even a helping hand or a bit of support during a difficult emotional time.
• With most things in this world, there is only a limited amount of what one can give away. Generosity and kindness are not bound to these same material limitations.
• Every single act of love, kindness and generosity will multiply and return many times over. The more one give the happier one will feel. The reward of charity depends entirely upon the extent of the kindness in it.
• Life's paradox is that one limit the power of giving by having an expectation of getting something in return. When one give without any thought or desire for something back, the returns will be truly limitless.
• Life is like a river of energy, continually flowing. A fast flowing river is full of life and clear water. What happens when a river stops moving? It get very muddy, and stagnant. 
• The acts of giving and receiving are a continuous process of circulation that continues the flow of life’s energies. For one person to receive someone else has to give. 
• True giving, without expectation of anything in return is as effortless as breathing. How much is too much to give? One may never know, so just give until there's nothing else.
• An ego based form of giving is giving with an expectation of something in return. This is not giving at all but a form of barter. 
• The intention behind giving is the most important thing. The intention should always be to create happiness for both the giver and the receiver.
• Giving with resentment will ultimately will come back with resentment. In this case, not giving the gift at all is a better option. What one gives out is what comes back in direct proportions to the feelings in the act of giving.

When you meet someone, you can silently send them a blessing, wishing them happiness, joy and laughter. This kind of silent giving is very powerful. When you do this, you will suddenly find people around you opening to you in joy and happiness. Make a decision that wherever you go, to whoever you meet, to give. As long as you are giving, you will also be receiving. The more you give, the more will flow back to you and be returned many times over. Giving creates a pattern of happiness, joy and love in your life beyond your wildest expectations.

Kindness in words creates confidence. 

Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. 

Kindness in giving creates love ... Lao Tsu

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Avoid being judgmental

• We are all judgmental. It’s human nature. 
• While it is in our nature to be judgmental, it’s not always useful to us. We look down on others, as if we are so much better and that creates division between people. 
• You are not the only one with betchy opinions. We see someone, and based on their looks or actions, we pass judgment on them. Not good judgment, either. Usually without even knowing the person. In most cases, we don’t really have any idea what’s behind other people’s actions. We don’t make an effort to get to know the person, or understand them, or see whether our judgment was right or not. 
• We judge, without understanding. We don’t try to find out more, and through communication begin to understand, and through understanding begin to build a bridge between two human beings.
• It might be hard to avoid gossip completely, but make an effort to change the conversation when your friends start sounding judgmental. Try bringing up another perspective, or sneak some of that person’s good qualities into the discussion. If you can’t help but get caught up in the negativity of your usual social group, find a more positive friend who you can spend time with too.
• Everyone makes mistakes, so make a point of framing it as a bad action, not a sign of bad character. 
• As you feel a negative thought enter your brain, accept it as a thought only and then redirect your mind to think about something else. Detaching yourself from your thoughts will keep you from getting caught up in criticizing others.
• An onslaught of scary events (political upheaval, apocalyptic weather) has made us all feel unstable, amplifying our instinctual urge to call out those who threaten the norm. Because things seem less predictable we're assessing more, looking to shut down threats everywhere. 
• It is easy to dismiss these savage instincts as harmless. But constantly judging others can create an addictive cycle. We judge, then judge ourselves for judging, then feel bad, then judge others again, ultimately losing way too much mental energy to process that makes us feel foolish. 
• The solution is noticing the critical thoughts and then replacing them with kindness. 
• When you begin your day with self-judgment, you end up projecting those insecurities onto others. Instead try to notice your judgment without judgment. When you realize that you are critiquing yourself, congratulate yourself for noticing. Positive reinforcement neutralizes negative feelings, squashing the urge to transfer them onto someone else.
• After recognizing what triggers your judginess and using positive mantras, try cultivating compassion. Looking for people's good qualities helps you feel more love for them. So close your eyes for a second, breathe deep, and reflect on how hardworking this guy is.
• Evening is great time to take inventory of your and forgive yourself for all the times you have judged. This is the last step in your detox. No matter how many negative thoughts slipped through, tell yourself that you did the best you could. And be proud of all the critical thoughts you did catch. 
• In order to let other people off the hook, you first have to let yourself off the hook.

Be curious, not judgmental ... Walt Whitman

Life of riches, is not a rich life

• Poverty is deprivation. Deprivation of food, water, shelter makes you realize the importance of life and teaches you ways to survive, means to exist. Deprivation of opportunity teaches you that lives are unfair, you've got to accept it, you've got to fight against it, and you have to fight to find a place to stand and mark your presence. Deprivation of power teaches to take a different route, which is full of hard work and struggle. Deprivation of riches makes you fearless.
• Poverty and deprivation makes you appreciate the smaller things in life that many take for granted. 
• Money helps you achieve your goals, provide for your future, and make life more enjoyable, but merely having the stuff doesn’t guarantee fulfillment.
• There is a danger that increased income can actually make you miserable. Your desire to spend grows with it. The key is finding a balance between having too little and having too much, and that’s no easy task. Money can’t make you happy if your increased wealth brings increased expectations.
• The so called riches that money can buy actually leaves you poorer in happiness, health, and relationships.
• Rich life is purely personal. It is how you spend your time, not with the things you own. Whatever it is that makes you happy while you’re doing it, do it. A rich life is about spending time on whatever is valuable to you. 
• Letting go of anger or hurt rewards one with peace of mind, a priceless freedom. The act of forgiveness is a true testament to your inner strength.
• Gentleness is one of the greatest virtues. The ability to be strong without being abrupt or harsh is a rare and valuable quality.
• Patience isn’t easy in this age of instant gratification. With patience, you can achieve things over time that may seem impossible.
• Gratitude develops out of humility. With gratitude and humility, right actions come naturally. Gratitude ought to be a way of life. Be grateful but don't expect gratitude.
• Generosity is a sign of emotional maturity. Being generous is being thoughtful and considerate without being asked. Generous people experience the richness of life which a selfish person cannot even dream of. Selfishness brings its own revenge. Be sensitive to other's feelings.
• Kindness brings its own rich rewards—inner peace, happiness, and the knowledge that you are making a real difference in the world. It is better to treat a friend with kindness while he is living than display flowers on his grave when he is dead. Kind words never hurt the tongue.
• Compassion is to understand and feel another’s pain is a truly selfless act. It allows you to appreciate the areas of ease and plenty in your own life. What good is intellectual education without understanding human dignity and compassion? 
• Love is making emotional connection with others, whether it’s your partner, family, or friend, brings an abundance into your life that money can never hope to match.
• Vulnerability is letting down your defenses and showing your weaknesses allows others to see the full picture, not just a silhouette. Being vulnerable builds trust in relationships. By consciously letting others in, initially unremarkable relationships could blossom into great friendships.
• Contentment is realizing you already have abundance in your life brings serenity and contentment. Achieving this in a materialistic world takes a special skill.

Be a better person: Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and wrong. Because some time in our lives we would have been all of these ourselves.

The fortunate man is he who, born poor, or nobody, works gradually up to 

wealth and consideration, and, having got them, dies before he finds 

they were not worth so much trouble ... Charles Reade

Read Kalyana Sundaram - Man of the Millineum

Read Charles Francis Feeney - James Bond of philanthropy

My View:

We all get enlightenment of life, usually in later years. The winner is who gets it early. There is nothing wrong in sensual pleasures and enjoying them within the framework of social norms and laws of the land. Renunciation is not running away from life's responsibilities but changing our attitude towards life. It is important we lead our lives in such a way that at the end we leave this earth a better place than we found it. We must maintain consumption and emissions to minimum. Leading life of austerity and contentment enables us enjoy richness of life. We should thrive to fulfill our responsibilities towards nature, society, work, family and self - in the same order.

To be Smart or To be Nice!

• One tends to use big words, when insecure and to appear smarter! It is usually has opposite effect.
• Smart people have good vocabulary. Using thesaurus in emails, one may be guilty of boosting intelligence perception. But smart writing is usually simpler and easier to understand.
• Intelligence is associated with clarity of expression.
• Smart people use long words in their writing but their is aim is to write clearly.
• Any cue associated with wisdom - thick book, fluent speech, grey hair, wearing glasses - may give rise to impression of smartness.
• Persons having good sense of humor show really higher intelligence. So men can use humor as an easy and honest, hard to fake, cue of intelligence.
• If people find some one attractive and an authentic smile tends to enhance attractiveness, they are inclined to assign other good qualities to them, like intelligence.
• Most of our daily interactions with others are short and superficial. However, we are less easily fooled during prolonged or repeated interactions.
• Good eye contact means the other person is responsive to what you are doing or saying. If he is not responsive, either you are dull or he is dumb. Conservationists who maintain good eye contact are rated higher than those who avoided someone's gaze.
• Alcohol beverages lower perceived intelligence levels. People holding wine or beer are judged less intelligent than those holding soda or mineral water.
• People will like you not because of your smartness, but because of your warmth and kindness. Besides liking, there is also respecting which is based on intelligence. When you want other to like you, present yourself as a person who is nice rather than smart. But if you want others to respect you, present yourself intelligent rather than nice.

Be honest, be nice, be a flower not a weed ... Aaron Neville

It is nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice ... John Templeton

Treat others as you wish to be treated. Don't just be nice, but be kind to other people.
That can be so rewarding ... Mary Lambert

My View:

Usage of jargon usually goes over the head of listeners and is of no use. Using simple and effective words is the best way of verbal communicating. However written communications which has to be clear can be long and contain appropriate jargon. Smart people are viewed by other with suspicion. It is better to be nice rather than smart or intelligent. Smartness results in rat race, where the winner is still a rat. Smartness may make you successful & rich, but nicety will make you live a rich life.

Story: Generosity pays back

A true story, happened in 1892 at Stanford University:

 …most of us only think “If I help them, what would happen to me?” The truly great people think, “If I don’t help them, what will happen to them?”

An 18-year-old student was struggling to pay his fees. He was an orphan, and not knowing where to turn for money, he came up with a bright idea. He and a friend decided to host a musical concert on campus to raise money for their education.

They reached out to the great pianist Ignacy J. Paderewski. His manager demanded a guaranteed fee of $2000 for the piano recital. A deal was struck and the boys began to work to make the concert a success.

The big day arrived. But unfortunately, they had not managed to sell enough tickets. The total collection was only $1600. Disappointed, they went to Paderewski and explained their plight. They gave him the entire $1600, plus a cheque for the balance $400. They promised to honour the cheque at the soonest possible.

“No,” said Paderewski. “This is not acceptable.” He tore up the cheque, returned the $1600 and told the two boys: “Here’s the $1600. Please deduct whatever expenses you have incurred. Keep the money you need for your fees. And just give me whatever is left”. The boys were surprised, and thanked him profusely.

It was a small act of kindness. But it clearly marked out Paderewski as a great human being.

Why should he help two people he did not even know? We all come across situations like these in our lives. And most of us only think “If I help them, what would happen to me?” The truly great people think, “If I don’t help them, what will happen to them?” They don’t do it expecting something in return. They do it because they feel it’s the right thing to do.

Paderewski later went on to become the Prime Minister of Poland. He was a great leader, but unfortunately when the World War began, Poland was ravaged. There were more than 1.5 million people starving in his country, and no money to feed them. Paderewski did not know where to turn for help. He reached out to the US Food and Relief Administration for help.

The head there was a man called Herbert Hoover — who later went on to become the US President. Hoover agreed to help and quickly shipped tons of food grains to feed the starving Polish people.

A calamity was averted. Paderewski was relieved. He decided to go across to meet Hoover and personally thank him. When Paderewski began to thank Hoover for his noble gesture, Hoover quickly interjected and said, “You shouldn’t be thanking me Mr. Prime Minister. You may not remember this, but several years ago, you helped two young students go through college. I was one of them.”

The world is a wonderful place. What goes around comes around!