Saturday, 20 January 2018

Marriage is a gamble

When it comes to selecting a partner people either take too long to take a decision or get married in a hurry. This is inscrutable. That is one of the reasons for increased divorce rates in India.  The divorce rate in America was 32.8% in 1970 and rose to 49.1% by 2000. Higher divorce rates reflect a lack of commitment and a decline of moral character that have harmed adults, children and society in general.
  • Whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, the fact remains that at the end of the day marriage is essentially akin to a gamble. 
  • Marriage is a commitment between two people who exchange vows to stay together through thick and thin. True love transcends the physical laws of attraction between a man and a woman.
  • Struggling marriages make people more unhappy, while healthy marriages have some of the happiest couples in history.
  • These days people expect more out of their marriage. If these higher expectations are not met, it can suffocate a marriage to the point of destroying it.
  • When a husband and wife are bickering forever, it is their children who bear the brunt. Having healthy arguments is one thing, quarreling day in and day out is quite another.
  • Loveless arranged marriages somehow have been sustained even as love marriages have crumbled due to cultural disparities and ego problems that surfaced after the marriage. Many arranged marriages have also failed as a result of irreconcilable marital discord. 
  • When the situation becomes uncontrollable or unmanageable, it is always better to seek a legal separation. Sometimes this is in the interest of both the parties. In case of celebrities, moving away from an abusive marital relationship is not an option; it becomes a necessity.
  • Children often become the binding factor in unhappy marriages but this cannot always be the solution if there is far too much acrimony between the couple. A warring couple can cause serious psychological hurt to their progeny, the couple remaining unaware of the adverse impact.
  • Marriages are all about give and take. It is all about making adjustments. When these adjustments make life a virtual hell, then it is time for a hard decision. There are so many women out there who suffer mental abuse and domestic violence and there are men too who become unsuspecting victims in a loveless marriage.
  • Marriage is a tight-rope act. One has to walk with a fine sense of balance. Accepting each other’s shortcomings is one of the ways to develop an enduring relationship between partners. Where there is lack of tolerance and misguided expectations between a couple, marital discord is bound to swell.
  • In these modern days marriage has become tricky and challenging but also potentially rewarding. Obtaining a sense of fulfillment from partner, meeting the expectations and feeling satisfied in marriage is harder than ever. Couples in healthy marriages are more happier now than in the past.
  • It is hard to define a formula for a successful marriage, but where there is true love, marriages will manage to sustain! Couples need to invest time and resources to sustain strong marital bond.

Eli J. Finkel, a professor of psychology suggests a quick fix. A love hack is a proven technique that 
takes 
little time or effort and doesn’t even require cooperation from your partner that can take just a
few 
minutes 
a month. It’s not going to give you a great marriage, but it can certainly improve things. 
Simply allowing the relationship to slip off is far worse.

In marriages, no guarantees
A good husband makes a good wife


Don't look to your marriage alone for personal fulfillment. If you want a lot from your marriage, then you have to give a lot. Most people who are very happy in their marriage are also very happy in general. One of the secrets of successful marriages is to accept other person as he/she is and keep expectations from spouse to minimum. 


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